A Lake of Fire and Brimstone

regpinkerton @ 2006-12-13T03:11:00

2006-12-13T08:11:22Z

"There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many
people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside of them for reality
and never allow the world within to assert itself."
--- Herman Hesse

I came across this quote today. I find it funny that not many people realize that they are in fact the ones who create the reality that surrounds them. They are the ones who build things based on what they expect. I think reality is quite simple really, the brain constructs the world it wants to. This is a simple rule that delegates what is “normal” and what is weird. Take for example, People who suffer from a mental illness. Why is it that we define these differences in perception with such a negative connotation? Why can't we embrace these differences and the unique point of view they present to the individual who is “afflicted”? It seems I'm straying off topic really. The quote is not about the world that we build but rather I think its about the world that is truly around us. I think Mr. Hesse is suggesting that the only way to truly live a “real” life is to let go of all of the biological checks that drive us to further society. I find that, yes the ultimate goal of society is to find a way to best spend ones time on this mortal coil, but who is Mr. Hesse to say that these unreal lives are not good enough. I think its completely viable to be able to live one's life in the constraints of society and have a perfectly happy life. While I do wish to live in a world that is “real” and objective, I also believe that everyone must find their own way to this inner peace and happiness we all want. I also find that the only way to truly live an objective lifestyle is to let everyone be and to embrace their flaws and imperfections.

regpinkerton @ 2006-12-08T16:12:00

2006-12-08T21:12:58Z

some lyrics ive been working on... Not very strong ones.

walking down by the river
she was there on the rock siting
waiting for me to say hello
her eyes were bright suns
eclipsed by a dieing moon
I see her soul in those dark mirrors.
I didn't see it all today
I didn't see it yesterday
hopefully one day the eyes will open and I will see the show.
For this play is more than a story of friend and foe

We went out in the yard
looking for work in the fields
all we found were weeds
covering the trees like the toupee
of a man with a balding head
they try to hide the truth of the scene
we didn't see it all today
we didn't see it yesterday
hopefully in the future we will go and see the whole show
For this play is more than a story of friend and foe

out in the wide world
she left me down and out.
A tidal pool stranded ashore
yearning for the great blue
some day that tide will come in
and sweep me back out to sea
It cant be seen at all today
It couldn't be seen yesterday
we my never one day get to go to see the whole show
but this life is more than a story of worry and woe

Alterations in lifestyles.

2006-12-07T22:06:08Z

In a dour and moonless nighttime
I sense I am helpless in these woods
The trees are unusual in this place,
They reflect my haunted emotional state
A mirror for the subconscious psyche
reflecting a person I scarcely remember.

We all seem to build these guises for our selves to prevent harm from befalling us. We all seem to play with all the bullshit bureaucracy in this world. So few people just live life with complete indifference for materials. So few people transcend society and become what it is to be described as a kindred spirit. So few people can be untouched by the dread that defines civilized society. Its quite simple to get caught up in the maelstrom and become so lost that life floats by you. Pull your head out of the sand and push free of the chains that bind you to your emotions. Detach your self from all of the fake nonsense that lives in this world of ours. Be free for that is the most efficient way to peruse your own destiny.

molten

2006-11-16T07:42:26Z

We don't just need better campaign strategies; we need campaign
proctologists. And there is plenty of room for action and for principle
in the Democratic platform.

"Your father's blood pressure was through the roof when he arrived, and
he couldn't breathe.

My job is our sole source of income.

Or skimmed magazines.

"Your father's blood pressure was through the roof when he arrived, and
he couldn't breathe. But how does it work and what are the side-effects?
We'll know what he wanted.

I haven't watched television or listened to the radio recently either.
And yet, I found that the very thought of watching television left me .
Yet, incredibly, I had experienced no symptoms at all before this
happened. I couldn't hold a coffee cup. Frankly, he had all the signs of
someone who was going to die. Would your readers like to offer
suggestions?

Assume that you could be a victim. I can't remember the last time that I
chatted with a colleague when one of us wasn't simultaneously monitoring
a half dozen other electronic communications.

Did ADT explain my own withdrawal, my own sense of having too many
inputs, too much noise, and too little value attached to them?

We don't know yet whether there's brain damage.

I never felt soreness or tension in my wrists or my hands so I didn't
worry. I figured that I had the problem licked.

I might have have blamed my heavy workload if I could also have ignored
one telling fact: that my office sits next door to an AMC cineplex.

I can't remember the last time that I chatted with a colleague when one
of us wasn't simultaneously monitoring a half dozen other electronic
communications. The cost will be much cheaper than months of silent fury
and pain and frustration. If Hallowell is right, then Bill Gates is
wrong.

We don't know yet whether there's brain damage.

evangelist adultery

2006-11-15T20:17:02Z

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Confusing Ideals.

2006-11-14T21:50:12Z

I has been quite the prolonged period of time since I have written in this journal. It has been a long time since I have composed anything but lyrics or poetry really. I create a lot of poetry and lyrics. Not that my songs are worthy of having lyrics put to them, but it keeps me engaged. All I seem to do at any given time is study, play guitar, and fraternize with people I couldn't care less for. Thats what life is at this point in time, an endless grind so that maybe one day I will be able to achieve my goals to travel the world and to put my music into reality. Some people I know are already achieving things they what to. Some people are doing everything that they desire. I was thinking about some of the places I have been and some of the people who I have touched. I look backward at the life I lived already and I am starting to see a larger representation of myself. One that encompasses the present and the future me. There are a lot of things that I was oblivious to, that are now becoming more transparent. One thing in particular has been bothering me of late. Some will think me paranoid; others will realize the truth in my thoughts. I had a dream last eve that I punched him in the face. I saw the glorious plan that she has made for her self. One that I was very blind to. One that I still am perplexed about. The other day I met this individual by the name of Blyth. She is an intriguing person. About five months ago, she went to Thailand to be a model. She was only supposed to be there for two months but ended up staying for five. Her X-boyfriend, another friend of mine, broke up with her because he was let down by her extending her stay. He felt that she would come home one day and be changed in such a way that she would act more like a typical model. She came back a week ago to find her x-boyfriend with a new girlfriend. Her X realized she hadn't changed at bit from how she used to be. I feel sorry for both Blyth and Ryan. Life plays some cruel tricks on us does it not? People play a lot of games as well. Maybe one day ill be content with who I am and where I am going. Maybe one day ill be able to let my wall down to some one who will truly understand. Maybe its too late...

regpinkerton @ 2006-08-11T23:14:00

2006-08-12T03:32:38Z

I feel very fragmented at the moment. My brain is a windowpane that was torn asunder by a F5 twister and hurtled into the heavens only to fall back to earth and shatter into a million pieces. I wept like a little child, curled up in the fetal position, on my floor amungst the pieces of what once was a composed individual. What went wrong? I asked the floor in a repeated and retorical fassion. Fuck it... Fuck it all.

regpinkerton @ 2006-06-15T01:43:00

2006-06-15T06:05:35Z

Its quite disheartening to let go of something that has been a part of your life for some time.

I've been comptemplating starting a revolution. Maybe not a huge revolution, but rather one that will effect me and possibly the people around me. The other day, I had a conversation with mark about the pronouns that are used to specify gender. We talked about using the word "it" instead of "he/she" when talking about a person and how it would technically be correct to use said word in this way. I mean, it is common place to say "it" when referring to an animal, so why cant we use this word when referring to a person? Sure, initially, it will be more offensive to call some one an "it", but I feel that by eliminating gender from observatory speech, I can rid my self of preconceived notions that come with gender. I think that I am going to start to refer to people as "that person" or by their given name. I feel that by using gender specific pronouns, we are setting a bad example for people. I mean, is it not more offensive to refer to some one as a black man then just as a person. It may be more discriptive to say that the person is infact black and a man, but I dont really know for sure if that person is infact a male or if he is of african american decent. However, I do know that that person has brown hair, is tall, has a dark complexion or has a mustache. Dont get me wrong, I am not writing off the use of the pronouns "he/she", I am merely changing my speech so that I do not use them unless they are absolutely necessary and important to the context of what I am talking about.

regpinkerton @ 2006-06-13T22:06:00

2006-06-14T02:19:57Z

This evening, I decided to stay at home. The idea of going out and getting a little buzzed again has defiantly lost its appeal. Mark sent me a message Last night at 3 am telling me to post on Livejournal. It was funny because I was in the process of going to sleep and was interrupted by a very bad ringer. I Played some guitar today, and hung out with emily for a while; it was good. We went to the market, got some food, and then ate it at the river. All the while, we argued about whether or not it would be good to raise a child on a commune. I finished reading Siddhartha for the second time and realized that I didn't "really" read it the first time. I can smell Yoni.... (hah). Ive realized that my Icon on here has been tyler's distorted one for a long time. Ive also realized that all of my entries are just a bunch of extraneous sentences strung together with no kind of fluidity. Maybe, I should make an effort to create more coherent posts.

regpinkerton @ 2006-06-08T13:46:00

2006-06-08T18:00:23Z

So, I’m sitting in bed and the somewhat plastic smell of the DMT, which is not fully evaporated, is getting to me. It’s a horrible smell but at least it doesn't make me sick like the ether. I'm nursing a hangover at the moment and I feel quite foolish to not have downed enough water last night before bed. It is not the worst hangover I have experienced, but it contains all the symptoms: an empty feeling in your stomach, a feeling that your eyes are out of focus, and an achy head that doesn’t feel like a normal run of the mill headache. This is a some-what pointless entry in that nothing has really happened today, not that anything ussually does, and because of the headache, I can not put down anything of real meaning.

regpinkerton @ 2006-06-07T15:29:00

2006-06-07T19:37:45Z

Long time, Long time Indeed. Fuck man.. Fuck it all. So, DmT... Awesome. And drew carey is a horrible show, but i watch it anyways because hey... nothing better to do. Wish i had a book And a guitar cable or maybe some greens but i dont. Its crazy man. Im cutting back on cigarettes. For some reason i smoked 15 yesterday. It would be cool if they did something other than just reliving my need for another one but they dont. Went to bed at 9 last night. Why you ask? Why? I was stressed and felt like sleeping. I woke up at 11 today. Thats 14 hours of sleep. Crazy man crazy.

regpinkerton @ 2006-02-14T20:29:00

2006-02-15T01:33:29Z

Today, for some unknown reason, I watched the movie, Sister act 2: back in the habit. I know what your thinking, Any movie where a fat black woman, namely Woopie Goldburg, transcends from being a vegas show dancer to teaching a bunch of old white nuns how to dance has got to be amazing. But alas, it was not very good. Not very good indeed.

Yay.!

2006-02-10T20:33:04Z

Sometimes I wonder why I dont really write in here anymore. Sometimes I dont. Today is the latter.

regpinkerton @ 2006-02-07T13:44:00

2006-02-07T18:46:54Z

Tyler was talking about a 5 bladed razor... well i recently came across this beauty while shoping for other razors at the store...

regpinkerton @ 2006-02-05T12:21:00

2006-02-05T17:21:50Z

MAN!

regpinkerton @ 2006-02-02T15:16:00

2006-02-02T20:47:14Z

TAGGED by Chris.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

in no particular order:
1. "Political World" -Bob Dylan, Oh Mercy
2. "Stink Foot" -Frank Zappa, Apostrophe (')
3. "Sharleena" - Frank Zappa, The Lost Episodes
4. "Off the Top" - Bela Fleck, Little Worlds
5. "(4.41am)Sexual Revolution" - Roger Waters, The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking.
6. "G-Spot Tornado" - Frank Zappa, The Yellow Shark
7. "Its My Own Fault (live)" Johnny Winter

I tag...
Anyone who reads this.

regpinkerton @ 2005-12-07T04:34:00

2005-12-07T09:34:54Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In May I put money in silenceverythng's expired parking meter (14 points). Last Friday I punched tehlettergreen in the arm (-10 points). Last Wednesday I gave deridin a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). Last Saturday I farted in an elevator (-6 points). In November I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-707 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!

Sincerely,
regpinkerton

regpinkerton @ 2005-11-18T13:00:00

2005-11-18T18:00:31Z

You are a
Social Liberal
(83% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(6% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

regpinkerton @ 2005-11-18T02:11:00

2005-11-18T07:26:15Z

My schedual sucks for next semster. its going to be friggen hell on earth even though this semster i had 20 credits to deal with. Next semster i have 18, though its really spred out.

Math 1322 (Calc 2) M 10-1130 w 830-10 t 530pm-7pm
Chg 1120 (Intro to chem engineering.) M 1130-230 W 1130-1pm
Chm 1320 (Organic Chem 1) T 10-1130, 1pm-230pm th 830-10, Lab:10-1pm
Phy 1304 (Physics 2) M Lab:7pm-10pm T 830-10 W 1030-1130 F 10 - 1130
Math 1341 (Linear Algebra) T 7pm-830pm th 7Pm-10pm

This schedual, if you can visualize it... looks like hell on earth. So remeber, if you think your next semster is going to suck, just look at mine.

regpinkerton @ 2005-10-06T02:10:00

2005-10-06T06:14:27Z

SHIT THE CRACK SMOKED ITS SELF, AND THE GIANT BABY ATE THE SHIT STAINED SOFA WITH A SIDE OF HEROINE STAINED SHRUNKEN HEADS. THEN THE ALEX TRABECK CAME AND STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT THE RAPISTS AND SHIT HIM SELF WITH SELF AMUSMENT OVER THE THOUGHT THAT THE RAPIST ACUTAL MEANS THERAPIST!. Eat my retarted fecis you bitch. heh
tyler i know i copyed, but you know what?!?! I shit out fruit loops so teh benedryl will come a cure my cancer. What say you mister meyogi?!?!?!

regpinkerton @ 2005-10-04T01:55:00

2005-10-04T05:55:29Z

In the debate between liquid or blotter... Liquid wins. That is all.

regpinkerton @ 2005-10-03T23:00:00

2005-10-04T03:01:33Z

BUSH IS SUCH A FUCKING TOOL!!

regpinkerton @ 2005-10-01T11:54:00

2005-10-01T16:02:33Z

so today, so far has been a shit feast. I wake up to the sweet smells of deturgent. Thinking its just my clean clouths that i just washed the night prior, i fall back to sleep for 15 mins. I get up at 915 to go and jump into the shower. I come back and my floor is covered in a soapy substance. I realize that my bottle of deturgent has spilt everywhere. All of my clouths are covered in the shit. So i dont have time to think i grab what i wore the night before and just leave for my test. I take the test. and Realize that Problem #4 has a typo on it. So i ask the instructer about this and he says no it doesnt. its bullshit, because i know what im talking about. The problem is ln(x)+ln(14-2x)=Ln(40)-ln(2) The answer of course should be X=5 or x=2 but those arnt the choices on the test. Fuck that. Fuck it to hell. So i leave and come back here. I try to clean up the soap from my carpet, to no avail. So i decied i must wash all of my clouthing again and just use a towel to try and soak up the shit on my floor. I go down to the laundry room, throw it all in, then get into the elivator as some girl is laughing. I dont think anything of it, but as im going up we stop and floor 1 and pick up about 20 passengers. The lady says that they need to get up to floor 14, I my self have to get to floor 8. So i have to wait, with 20 passengers in the fucking small ass elivator as we rise to 14, then i need to ride back down to 8. the evlivator stops at 5 floors on the way up, then every floor possible on the way down. Fuck that. Im haveing a shitty day and it is barely 12 o'clock.

regpinkerton @ 2005-09-29T16:00:00

2005-09-29T20:02:39Z

So i signed up for this thing, i know what your thinking Pryamid sckeme right? No actualy, They give away free ipods. This dude in my dorm showed me his, that he got, and the billing statment. I figure what can it hurt right? All you have to do it try a free trail of something and then refer 5 friends and you get a free Ipod. Its quite legit. Heres the link. http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=20105713

regpinkerton @ 2005-09-13T19:06:00

2005-09-13T23:19:01Z

SO today was good.. Finally started doing C++ and vector mechanics... the two classes with which i was most excited for.

However i did find out that the hardest class i would be taking all year will most likely be Chemistry. Its not that the subject its self is hard, but rather it would seem that this class is a "Textbook" class. I dont blame the teacher, i mean she is teaching 400+ students in each class room, but still its hard to soak in shit if you have to sit down and read a boreing ass text book. oh well i can deal.

Tomarrow is my brothers birthday. It really bothers me that i cant go and see him. It would have to be the first time since i was born that i wasnt at my brothers birth day. One of those reality checks that im really 500 miles from my home, my friends, and my family.

well ive got loads and loads more homework to do. will probibly be working for a while. If you see me on AIM leave me one.

Peace be to all.